From my balcony, I overlook Manly Beach in Sydney. For years I would find myself standing there, staring out, pondering the lights across the water and wondering where my life would lead. Who I’d be with. What they’d do. The one thing I never questioned was who I’d become. I thought I knew myself already.
I’m not sure if it was cockiness or ignorance, or something else. Without a label on it, it was an inner confidence that I’d be ok. My story would shape itself, a perfectly winding story suited to me, and I had enough faith in my own destiny to believe that I’d be inspired by the outcome.
Growing up with parents who gave me enough space to explore life my own way allowed me to trust myself and I’m sure this was behind the faith I held. This was something I not only appreciated in them, but also aspired to when it was my turn to wear those shoes.
And now, with my second-hand 17 year old now a fully-fledged member of our family, I was thinking she may like to ditch the home-cooked dinners and be introduced to Manly’s nightlife by people closer to her own age.
I spoke with a younger guy I know, one of my husband’s earlier photography protégés. I told him we’d acquired a beautiful girl on part time basis who could do with being shown around Manly when she was staying with us. I made the throw away comment that she was otherwise hanging out with a bunch of people nearing 40.
“Yeh, but you guys are cool”.
I wasn’t expecting that answer. But I took it on as the correct one.
It never occurred to me that by not being a dictionary-definition parent that I would, in fact, become the parent I’d always wanted to be. I was the person I knew I’d become when I was standing on my balcony, knowing nothing of the detail, but everything of the full heart that I hold today.
For me, this whole journey has been enriched largely by my willingness to let go of the detail.
Looking back over my life, everything counts. Every conversation, every challenge, each decision has been the one that led me around my winding path to meet the road where I currently stand.
It’s my experience that we actually do get what we want – if we can only bring awareness to how it shows up in our life. Detail schmetail, hey?
With love from an uber impressed 39 year old,
Image by Joel Coleman