In fact, potentially the weirdness thing I’ve ever done.
I woke up feeling a bit ‘germy’. That feeling as if the flu is coming – achy shoulders, achy back. For me, this is normally a precursor to the flu.
During recent years, I started being curious, each time I was sick, about why I was sick. I became curious as to the underlying benefits I was gaining from having those symptoms. In that line of questioning, I became well aware that each time I was taken down by the flu, I was really craving down time, thinking time, rest time – essentially just time. Over a few years of observation and clocking up results, it became apparent to me that if I don’t consciously stop and make time for myself, I will generally bring on a virus. My body steps in with an “I’ve got this” flag. I’m forced to the couch and I suddenly get time for me.
This time is different though. I don’t feel rushed or stressed. I don’t feel my time is compromised at all and I’m strategically doing every single thing I want to do, so this viral feeling came without the standard explanation.
I pull out my bolster and sit down to meditate. A few breaths to settle. In my mind’s eye, I step into a room of cushions and beanbags. There is a warm light to the room, perfect for an unintimidating, round table discussion, so to speak.
Into the room, I invite in the virus as well as my immune system. We acquaint ourselves and I open up a dialogue between the three of us about what’s going on here.
The virus starts laughing and says it has no idea, finding the whole scene very funny that it’s circulating through my body without understanding why. I turn to my immune system which looks sheepish, awkward, even embarrassed; “I was busy doing other things, I guess I just moved my focus elsewhere”.
I asked where its focus had moved to. Awkward silence. I laid my hands on different parts of my body, “here?”, moving them around with each “Nope, not there”, until I received a few yesses.
The yesses were related to freckles and moles on my skin that I’ve been meaning to get checked out by a specialist. It’s been on my mental To Do List and I frequently think of it at random times, like in the shower, but then forget once I’m out of the bathroom and so hadn’t made the doctor’s appointment as yet. The worry about them was obviously sitting within – and apparently my immune system took up the call.
So I ask, “are you focussing on these areas because it’s required, or because of my worry?”
We proceed to have a conversation, clarifying that the immune system has my complete permission to attend to what is real, rather than what’s in my head. I also promised that I would make an appointment with the skin specialist immediately, as to remove the worry dormant within my subconscious.
I was able to personally thank my immune system for taking one for the team and totally stepping up in order to protect and look after me.
We actually bonded over this. My immune system felt appreciated and we had one of those long-sustained heart to heart hugs. We invited the virus in for a group hug as, after all, it was the virus who allowed this conversation as well as the recognition that my immune system is truly on my side, doing as I ask. The virus suddenly had a purpose and, with that, it vanished, out of the hug, leaving two.
My immune system asked for four hours and then everything would be back to normal again. Deal.
Out of the meditation, I made my doctor’s appointment. Locked in. Later that day, no germy feeling. No flu.
To clarify, none of this seemed weird at the time. In fact, it seemed perfectly normal, very logical and was the most beautiful, genuine and honest conversation and connection with my physical being. It’s only now that I put it in black and white that I realise just how bizarre it sounds!!
Either way, I appreciate that there is a time for medication and there is a time for meditation. I guess what I found through this experience, is that I have determined my first port of call.